"It's not every day you get to enjoy the bottom layer of a chocolate pyramid." - The_Gnat

Birdie from hell...

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If you think all birds sleep at night and only chrip during the day, let me fill you in... Last night I think I had a total of maybe 2 hours sleep in 10 minute increments. I started to hear the chriping at about 10:30 last night. I was all nestled into bed reading a book when it sounded like a car alarm of constant chriping went off. Ok I thought, no problem, it will stop in a minute. Man was I wrong, and to add to the misery I swear this bird had a menagerie of chirps and would only reapeat each three times then move to the next. Maybe, just maybe if it had been the same chrip over and over I could have drowned it out.

At one point I had convinced myself that there was no way this was a bird, I don't ever remember hearing them at night. I thought for sure this was some kind of new motion detector the neighbors had installed and was stuck in the ON mode. I know, doesn't make much sense but after several hours of constant chriping and no sleep it made plenty of sense to me. Around 1am gnat finally came to bed but no matter what we did we couldn't drown out this damn bird. We normally have a fan in the room to drown out the normal noises of the night, it's usually set on low but last night we upped it to HI. As soon as we did this I swear the bird upped its volume. Gnat had the idea to go outside and give the tree a little shake. Seeing as we have around 20 trees outside our window, I don't know which tree he decided to shake but he was as tired as I was of this bird. The chirping stopped for approximately 5 minutes.

Around 3am I got up opened the door and clapped my hands as loud as I could. No good, the bird didn't even skip a beat. On top of this, gnat was apparently able to drown out the noise with his snoring. GREAT... I took my pillow and retreated to the other bedroom (on the same side of the house, with no fan to drown anything out). I shut the doors, stuffed the windowsill with pillows, layed on my side, proped a pillow over my exposed ear and held it in place with my other arm. This worked for about 20 minutes as soon my arms began to fall asleep from the odd position and I could still here gnat snoring in the other room. I got up and walked through the house to see if the noise was less in any of the other rooms. At this point I think I could would have been happy to sleep on the kitchen floor or in the bathtub if it were quiet. Unfortunately, I could hear this damn bird equally throughout the house. I'm normally an animal lover but I have never so badly wanted to strangle an animal, or at least cut it's vocal chords. This basically went on the entire night. I tossed and turned the rest of the morning, I would fall asleep for about 10 minutes at a time before the chirping would wake me up again. It's now 9am and the damn thing is still going, although now it is taking breaks between driving me crazy. If I thought I had decent aim I would be in the garage searching for the pellet gun. It's more likely, however, that I'd end up shooting my foot than a bird.

I swear if this continues much longer, I might be forced to call in an expert (AKA Fluffy the feline terminator). Don't let all the white fluffiness fool you. The first time I met Fluffy he had a squirrel in his mouth. I really hope it doesn't come to that. For your own sake birdie, go perch in someone else's tree!

2 Responses to “Birdie from hell...”

  1. Blogger Marilyndrew 

    I don't have time right now to read much of your posts, but I saw the cat and melted. How beautiful!

  2. Blogger Gnat 

    I swear I was snorring extra loud to try to help you out. It was my plan the whole time.


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